BBC Panorama and the aftermath.

Scientology was a large part of my life as a child and by 1974 I finally thought I had managed to get this absurd mafia type organization out of my life once and for all. Easier said than done.

In 2006 Scientology re entered my life in the most profound way, and in a way that was to disrupt any semblance of the life I had managed to make for myself by totally destroying my equalibrium for the second time around.

The Sea org motto is "we come back" and by god they do. The disruption is beyond anything you can imagine.

I'm coming forward to 2006 now as a chance encounter whilst out with my family was to see a load of people on the side walk outside of the shopping center on North Street in Brighton. The scientologists were out there with their E-meters. I had not seen an E-meter since I was 14 years old, when my second step mother had tried to get me one. I blew my top and refused. They were not going to sec check me ever again.

Two years previously I had a sec check whilst leaving Scientology to go on a leave of absense. I had to lie in order to break away from them and I would not do so again.

When I had seen the E-meters in Brighton something snapped in my head, these people were still going strong, how could that be? I had seen the newspapers where Marysue Hubbard and other Scientologists were taken to court for infiltrating Government offices. I had stupidly thought that was the end of it. All these years later and these bastards were still ruining peoples lives.

I watched the first Panorama on Scientology and was hopeful that at last maybe some justice would follow. But NO!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuJlZ_f1594

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology_and_Me

I watched the second Panorama, two years later, and something about it infuriated me.
Ok, so we all watched how Scientology follows people including the BBC, but the thing that got to me the most was the publicity stunt pulled by the so called former heads of Scientology, Mike Rinder and Marty Rathbun.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00v1ykr/Panorama_The_Secrets_of_Scientology

I'm trying so hard to look at all of this rationally, and I can't.There is nothing rational inside Scientology, especially in the Sea Org and that is why I can see more than is being portrayed. It's almost like the BBC have been 'handled', Scientology is good at this, they have been doing it for 50 years. If they were not good at it, they would not still be around.
But, they are.

It's not that I think the BBC have not done a good job, trying to show Scientology for what it really is, but there is so much more.

Mike Rinder as the head of the Office Of Special Affairs (OSA) which used to be the Guardians Office (GO) is responsible for the coverups of  major operations against some of the ex scientologists and others who spoke out or wrote about Scientology and also in the cover up of the death of Lisa McPherson. So how is it that this guy gets TV coverage on prime time TV showing just how creepy this organization is. "Leave us alone and we'll leave you alone" comes to mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAfrWfnxx2E

You are seeing what they want YOU to see. They want YOU to see that they follow and investigate people , so YOU are afraid to go near any Scientology Organization, YOU are afraid to investigate, and by showing how they will even follow and investigate the BBC, it is making it very Clear, leave us alone or else.

http://www.xenu-directory.net/accounts/youngr199311.html

To me, this is how Scientology operate and it is very reminiscent of how I was 'handled' as a 12 year old child, 42 years ago.It comes straight from Hubbard, even though he is dead.

Mike Rinder gets prime tv coverage as a bloody celebrity, just like Tom Cruise and John Travolta, all of them are Vulture Ministers for Scientology.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-ileocErrs

Then you watch something like the above video and it makes you wonder. How much abuse do you take before you defect, and having been in for so many years, you are still convinced it's the new management. It wasn't like this in L. Ron Hubbards day many more recent defectors think, they couldn't be more wrong.

To be continued with more links..........

Beliefs.

There is much contraversy about whether or not the belief system of Scientology is harmful or not. I know it is harmful, but there are those that say that if an adult wants to practise Scientology outside of the church then they are quite within their rights to do so, if they are not harming anyone.One could argue this point forever and never get anywhere.Loosing engrained Scientology principles takes a long, hard and arduous look at oneself and it is difficult to give up the beliefs one has had for a lifetime in some cases.

When most people protest against the doctrines of Scientology they say, "we are only protesting the abuses, not the beliefs". When I protest against Scientology I am protesting against ALL Scientology, the abuse, the beliefs, the indoctrination, the disconnection, the slave labour, the belief system that is imposed on young children by their parents.

Engrained into the Scientology doctrine are little bits of truth mixed in amongst ALL of the lies, of which they are  the core principles that keep the faithful indoctrinated.


So where is the line between harm  or not?

One of the beliefs of Scientologists is that you will be reincarnated lifetime after lifetime. If you are a Sea Org member it is said you have 21 years between death and being reborn to find your way back into the fold again. This misnomer is all too apparent to the non believers, for if it was so, L. Ron Hubbard himself is long overdue.

Back when I had only been protesting a short while I was overcome with  sorrow when I watched this young womans story of what happened to her Father.

Some may think this is a one off, it is not, it is all too prevalent within the Scientology belief system.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnQtiLz8ubI&feature=related

There is a long list of people who either took their own lives or were convinced that auditing would cure them of  cancer.

http://www.xenu-directory.net/mirrors/www.whyaretheydead.net/


http://www.lermanet.com/cos/newhana.html


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RqQmK8k4uA&feature=player_embedded#at=61

Medicine and Scientology

It starts with reading Dianetics and buying into the fact that you have a 'reactive mind'.It then goes on to tell you how we need to obtain 'clears' Initially 'Clear' was the optimum goal, then came the OT levels which I talk about later.

When reading Dianetics, pages 19 and 20, you could be convinced that Dianetics via auditing could cure you of the need to wear glasses if your eyesight was not optimum.

page 20 - Dianetics;

The eyesight was reduced in the aberree on an organic basis by his aberrations so that the perceptic organ itself was reduced from optimum operating function. With the removal of aberrations, repeated tests have proven that the body makes a valient effort to reconstruct back to optimum.

Now what is 'aberration:

page 599 - Glossary - Dianetics:

Aberration: a departure from rational thought or behaviour. From the Latin, aberrare, to wander from; Latin,ab,away, errare, to wander. It means basically to err, to make mistakes, or more specifically to have fixed ideas which are not true.The word is also used init's scientic sense. It means departure from a straight line. If a line should go from A to B, then if it is "aberrated" it would go from A to some other point, to some other point, to some other point and finally arrive at B. Taken in it's scientific sense it would also mean the lack of straightness or to see crookedly as, in example, a man sees a horse but thinks he sees an elephant.Aberrated conduct would be wrong conduct, or conduct not supported by reason. When a person has engrams, these tend to deflect what would be his normal ability to percieve truth and bring about an aberrated view of situations which would then cause an aberrated reaction to them.Aberration is opposed to sanity, which would be it's opposite. This is the most fundamental level of aberration: "If the food smells good, go away from it!" This is directly against the survival intention of the organism.

An 'aberree' is an aberrated person.

What is an 'engram'?

page 613 - Dianetics - Glossary.

Engram: a mental image picture which is a recording of an experience containing pain, unconciousness, and a real or fancied threat to survival. It is a recording in the reactive mind of something which actually happened to an individual in the past and which contained pain and unconciousness, both of which are recorded in the mental image picture called an engram. It must, by definition, have impact or injury as part of it's content. These engrams are a complete recording, down to the last accurate detail, of every perception present in a moment of partial or full unconciousness.

I have put these two definitions here for two reasons, one so that anyone who reads this knows what I am talking about and two because they are a very big part of Mr. Hubbards made up language.

Yet another big irony for me at least, is that had I never been a scientologists' child, and had not gone to join the Sea Org with my Father I would most likely not have had the 'engrams' that Mr. Hubbard so knowledgeably talks about in his book Dianetics.

He created those 'engrams'.

There are many accounts of mal practise of medical conditions in Scientology and if YOU believe Scientology can help YOU via auditing and doing Scientology courses to cure YOU of these ailments, when in fact even though the medical proffession outside of this so called religion, has moved on in leaps and bounds in what they can treat now, has still a long way to go in curing certain illnesses.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeGvlulctwE

In the Real World

http://wn.com/Category:Deaths_from_epilepsy

Tory Magoo in Scientology

http://www.torymagoo.org/itorydec.htm

http://wn.com/Tory_Magoo_Christman_on_Scientology_,Tv_Interview

Jason Beghe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytm54Rzc-s8&feature=player_embedded

I'm going to get into the CCHR - Citizens Commission of Human Rights. This was set up in 1969 and brought into being to handle Psychiatry. In laymans terms to make Psychiatry wrong and Scientology right.

For now, I'll leave this here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krKgXn4o7LI&feature=player_embedded

East. Grinstead 1967 - Continued.

I could no longer get on with my step Mother, I didn't know why. I wasn't even her daughter, yet my Father had left me there with her. Why?

I didn't know.

One day, he came to me and said, "I am going away for a long time, and I don't know when I'll be back" I was devastated.

I cried and cried and eventually he said " I will try and arrange for you to come with me".

And so it was, we went to Tunisia and joined the Sea org. Scientology's stronghold to keep L. Ron Hubbard away from the law, away from governments that thought he was a threat to human society, and he was,but I was only 10 and I did not know it, my Father was 29 and he did not know it and the governments of the world for all the power and might that they seem to hold over civilisation did not know what the train wreck that Scientology was could reep on civilisation, but they were about to find out.

The hard way, like we were all about to find out.

It started with the billion year contract, a BILLION years, a BILLION years. Imagine that. I could not even envisage 5 years and yet L. Ron Hubbard insisted we sign a billion year contract or we had to get off of the ship.

I knew it had cost my Dad a lot to get us out there and I knew it would be very difficult for him to get us back home. He even questioned " a billion years, she's ony 10", but it still did not register, because L. Ron Hubbard was the most important man in the world in my Fathers eyes. He strongly believed L. Ron Hubbard was going to save mankind. They all believed he was going to save the world, I didn't, I just wanted to be with my Dad.

Of ALL the ironies in the world, that last has to be the funniest, at least in my eyes.

On board the Royal Scotsman I was learning even more weird and strange words and concepts, never had anything like it at home or in school.

First I am going to start with the word "WOG". I had already been made aware what this meant and it was a derogatory word for someone of a different colour. It was not a word I used or found acceptable. This was different though, it was used in Scientology to refer to anyone who was not a scientologist.Unbeknownst to them I didn't class myself as a scientologist, so that in effect made me a wog in their eyes. This was my very first WTF moment, if they had known how I did not class myself as a scientologist child, I would have been a derogatory term to them. Imagine being 10 years old and trying to work that one out.

The next one was 'Clearing the Planet'. Initially I latched onto the word 'clear' as I knew that becoming a 'clear' was meant to be of great importance, and previously I had met the young girl at St. Hill that had just become 'clear' and was so happy, I thought I should like to be like that one day.Latching onto the word 'clear' wasn't far off the mark, as 'clearing the planet' meant getting every man, woman and child on earth to become scientologists. What do scientologists strive for? ' to become clear' .

The trouble was  it soon became apparent that we were not just trying to clear this planet, we were eventually going up into space and we were going to clear other planets too. This was something I had a hard time trying to envisage.At the time, I did not know LRH was a science fiction writer, I also had not really any knowledge of science fiction other than Batman, and Dr. Who and the Daleks. I knew these were not real, at the time man had not made it to the moon, so I found these concepts hard to digest, even though they came from LRH, whom the adults of the Royal Scotsman thought was the saviour to mankind. Being 10 years old was proving to be a difficult experience.

When I wasn't wondering about these strange dilemmas, I found amusement in watching the arabic traders on the dock, trying desperately to coax the inhabitants down from the ship to buy their wares.They were there from sun up till dusk most days. 

East. Grinstead 1966/67.

The annexe at Coopers Wood consisted of a living room, one bedroom and a long kitchen with a bath in it that had a work surface on top. I had my own bed but my brothers shared a bed with my Mother, as there was so little room. i don't know what rent we paid, but my Mother looked after my brothers during the day and then in the evening she went to St. hill to do cleaning and also courses. It meant we spent little time together.In the evenings it was my job to look after my brothers. I was on my own a lot and so was allowed to go next door to the big house where all the scientology boarders lived.

When we first moved there, my Dad collected me in a taxi to go to school but after a short while it was too expensive and I had to walk to school which was approximately 2 miles. I did not understand why my Dad did not live with us, and it was something my Mother was reluctant to talk about.

There was a huge man who boarded at Coopers Wood called Uncle Bob, and after Uncle Ernie disappeared I latched onto Uncle Bob, I missed my Dad a great deal and I suppose on reflection Uncle Bob became a substitute. I remember curling up on his knee and falling asleep many times. It was comforting. I used to check on my brothers frequently and fortunately they were good sleepers and did not wake too often.

The night I stayed at home and was told not to move the carasene oil fire, I got bored, the fire was in the way and I wanted to do cartwheels, so I moved it. The next thing I knew the rug was alight and I was terrified, knowing my brothers were both asleep in the next room. Fortunately I had my wits about me and was able to put the fire out quickly, I felt terrible for my Mother had said "Do not move the fire" and I had, puttting my brothers lives at risk.

When my little sister Theresa Marie was born, she was so beautiful and so tiny and one could be forgiven for thinking we were the perfect family, but we didn't have a Dad. It was some time before I realized my Dad was living with another woman, I did not understand this, I saw less and less of him.

The Christmas of 66 was when I was taken to visit him with his new wife, I did not know at the time how hard this must have been for my Mother, sitting there drinking tea and eating cake and playing at being nice, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Years later finding myself in a similar situation, it hit me hard. There I was that day in my lovely glittery dress that I had for Christmas with my very grown up glittery tights feeling like I was on top of the world because I was with my Dad and yet there was my Mother, heavily pregnant, doing right by me and the boys, playing nice and my Dad was messing around with another woman.

Messing, is probably not the right word, he actually married her, which is more than he did for my Mother. I found out only a few years ago, 2006, he was never married to my 1st step Mother. This is just another one of those things that really gets to you, because I remember when my Dad and Mother had told me they had gotten married, I was only about 5 years old, I was upset because I had not been invited, I wanted to be a bridesmaid, but at the time, the way it was put to me, I was just happy that we were a family.

Theresa Marie only lived for about 3 months, she had breathing difficulties and died. I was at school and walking home, Auntie Betty came by in a taxi and broke the news to me, I was very upset and my Mother was not there when I got home. It was a very difficult time, my Mother was devastated by this and for some time after was different. Grieving.

The funeral was held at St. Hill in the Chappel. I remember this tiny little white coffin with a gold plaque with her name on it, it was hard to imagine that beautiful little baby inside that box, up on a plinth. The Chappel was packed with people but I can not tell who was there other than my Mother, Father, Auntie Betty and Auntie Mary. I was more concerned with whose body Theresa would find to inhabit.It bothered me a great deal, the only person I could have talked to about it was my Dad but he was rarely around. So I was left wondering just what growing baby she would latch on to.

On my tenth birthday, my Mother was home for the evening and let me have a half of a beer shandy. We sat and chatted, like never before and it was a wonderful evening. For the first time in a long time, she laughed and I was happy. It had been a rough year so far.

It was difficult because I missed my Dad so much, after an arguement with my Mother about I don't know what, I decided to run away and go to my Dad. The stupid thing is I didn't even know where he lived, I had only been there once but thought I could find it.

That afternoon, I had been out with a friend, we had gone down to the woods near where I had previously lived and wondered down by the stream. I loved that stream, it had a life force all of it's own and meandered down way deep into the wood. I almost felt like I could live there if needed be, until I found my Dad.

I had some money that I was supposed to get some shopping with for my Mother, but instead chose to buy things I thought I needed to survive until I found my way to my Dad's. I hid the shopping bags down the track that led to a lake down by the side of the entrance to Coopers Wood. When I went to collect them later, someone had stolen them. Undeterred, I packed a suitcase and only telling a boy that lived at Coopers Wood what my plans were, I set off in the dead of night before my Mothers return from St. Hill, and into the woods beyond the house.

The suitcase was heavier than I had imagined, and I struggled along for quite a while, eventually probably only a mile from the house, and settled down for the night on the leafy, wood floor.

I was awakened by a tracker dog licking my face. The Policeman was calling my name and telling me to wake up. I was determined I was not going to wake up. I feined being asleep for ages.When you are ony 10, and you've had enough, you can convince yourself that you will not wake up. For some stupid reason I actually thought that if I appeared to not wake up, he would go away. He didn't.

He said "I know you can hear me", but I did not want to hear him. It was some time before I finally had to admit defeat and was coaxed to go back to Coopers Wood.
To be continued.............

East. Grinstead in 2011.

The East. Grinstead Courier and Observer proudly presents an advert for L. Ron Hubbard's Centennial. The advert reads "Live entertainment followed by a video presentation celebrating L. Ron Hubbard's life and application of his humaniterian programmes".

This is a stark reminder of the propaganda that the science fiction navy of a pseudo "church" like to forward in the pretense of being good, kind and just.

I didn't go to L, Ron Hubbard's birthday bash as who would want to celebrate the life of a man that sold a science fiction life to his followers, took all their money from them and stole their children and families for his own gain.

Instead I visited St. Swithun's Church, It has not changed in all these years, still a magnificent building and hosts three slabs as a stark reminder of what having certain   beliefs can do to you.

The inscription reads: Beneath these stones are interred the ashes of Thomas Dungate, Anne Tree and John Foreman, who were burned to death in the High Street, East Grinstead in 1556, for adherance to the reformed faith.Fideles Usque Ad mortem; "Faithful even until Death".

These three protestant martyrs were burnt at the stake during the reign of Queen Mary tudor.Mary was the daughter of King Henry V111 and Queen Kathrine of Aragon, Mary was a staunch Catholic and actively persecuted Protestants. Her reign saw the burnings of heritics, more than any of the other Tudors, an estimated 248 people burnt to death in less than 5 years.It is thought the burnings of the East. Grinstead martyrs took place on the 18th of July 1556. Traditionally a market day and crowded with people. Burning these martyrs on this day would have had the most impact on the local people.

It is highly unlikely that the ashes are under the stone slabs as "heritics" are not supposed to be buried on sacred land.

One can't help but wonder, who decides what is sacred?

I visited East. Grinstead library and found more books by L. Ron Hubbard than I have ever seen in a library before.

Science of Survival, Introduction to Scientology Ethics, Dianetics, Dianetics 55 -  the Complete Manual of Human Communication, What is scientology, Dianetics -The Original Thesis and a copy of the St. Hill magazine, Foundation Issue 398.

There are pictures of LRH giving lectures and a whole diatribe on Margaret Neil, class V111 auditor, Power C/S, new OT V111, original Flag executive on the Apollo with LRH. She went on to be a Power C/S and Power Plus for a further 20 years.

There is a picture of Margaret Hodkin, which if memory serves me well is that of Hodkin and Co who are a group of Scientology solicitors and send out cease and desist letters to those who would protest scientology.

http://cosmedia.freewinds.be/media/articles/arg100694.html

The fact that these people wore masks to hide their identity because of Scientology's habit of sending private investigators out to track people down is totally besides the point, Scientology have only proven that they still do this, as it is difficult to photograph a masked face. How do you find out who a masked face is? Follow them to their home and then find out who lives there.

How unethical is that?

The anonymous group who wear masks for protection from scientology's army of investigators, have no protection at all from the pseudo naval church.L. Ron Hubbard's land navy have some notion they are the law of the land.

I never saw a single mask yesterday, but I know anonymous were there. A comforting thought.

I could be forgiven for thinking that the St. Hill magazine had been placed there especially for me. There was much about Power Processing and how wonderful it is in furthering one's progress up the bridge.

Joanna Brooks says:

On Power one discovers and resolves those things that pin one to the reactive mind, leaving the person able to move out of it - and once he's done on Power, he's not so likely to go back to it again.

After the new plateau reached on Power, the very next day you do Power Plus and go on up to an even bigger level of release, you didn't think was possible.On Power Plus a person tackles the beings places and subjects he has long detested. These processes visibly increase one's abilities, potentials, intelligence and awareness and free one from major and long standing problems to restore previously hidden powers.

The Power Processes are delivered by highly trained Class V111 auditors who are specifically chosen for their TRs. You are in very safe hands when you do Power and Power Plus at St. Hill Foundation.

It is noted that The green volume of  Introduction to Scientology Ethics was last borrowed on the 12/4/2010. Other Scientology volumes had no date stamp in them at all.

And I quote from "What is Ethics"

The basic travail of man is that he is divided into those who build and those who demolish and , in this conflict of intentions, his fight(whichever side he is on) is always lost.

Or was lost until the Scientologist came along.

At the back of the magazine there was a list of Scientology completions of courses. I went through every name and only recognized one.Out of all those names, just one, that of  Derek Field, long time Scientology accountant, whom I was shocked to find last year, his signiture attached to the accounts for Narconon St. Leonards - on - sea.

It is interesting to note that since I was last in East. Grinstead, the name plaque for Derek Field accountant has gone. I am wondering wether he has retired or been sent to the RPF. No doubt that my writing about him has most definitely put him in some form of Ethics cycle. Whatever the consequences of this, I feel quite bad if that is the case as I know he must be a very old man now, however, one must take responsibility for one's actions and I want to know when the pseudo naval church is going to start taking responsibility for all the harm done to people in the name of science fiction?

http://ocmb.xenu.net/ocmb/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=32823

http://www.truthaboutscientology.com/stats/by-name/d/derek-field.html

There's a couple of things about going into the Lions den of Scientology, East. Grinstead. There is a strange uneasiness of who's watching you, this could be said to be paranoia, but where Scientology is concerned there is much to be paranoid about. It's quite odd, and probably nothing, but on entering the library , going upstairs to the religious section, all was still, the librarian was settled in her chair at the desk, but oddly I enter and she heads straight for the religious section and spends about 15 minutes trying to find the right spot to put one book.It's a curious thing really because I would not even think like that in any other library.

I met someone whilst there who told me a story of man who had been 'with' LRH in the beginning. The man lost all of his money, his wife didn't want to know about scientology and tried hard to stop him spending all their funds on Scientology, he died with nothing, in a DHS hospice and the wife had a hard time trying to recoup some of the money that he had paid courses for but never completed. Yet one more sorry tale of  the world's fastest growing religion while sending it's adherents to the gutter. There is more to the story, but for now at least, I'll keep that to myself to protect the innocent.

Another odd little thing, at least for me. There's a cinema in East Grinstead, that I frequented a few times as a little girl, most bizarre, it's now called "The Crows Nest".

This time I did not meet up with my masked friends, and for the first time in a while going to East. Grinstead, I was not met by the Police wanting to know what my plans were. I still did not make it to Coopers Wood, but passed very close by on the bus to Three Bridges. The scientology education center was deserted, as too was the Montesauri  School next door, sitting there so brightly painted and child friendly, yet so eerily uninviting.

I was told by a lady that Scientology's past was not known by the youth of East. Grinstead today and that the scientologists put on shows for charity and appear child friendly, buying their way into the hearts of unsuspecting good people. "The scientologists are all so lovely" to the uninspecting eye. This isn't the first time an elderly person of East. Grinstead has told me this.

Whilst wandering around the town, you could be forgiven for thinking that East. Grinstead is just an ordinary little old town where not a lot goes on,unfortunately you'd be wrong. There is still an overwhelming fear in East. Grinstead that history must not be forgotten.

St.Hill in the 60s Part 5.

Another inhabitant of Coopers Wood and who went to St. Hill to do scientology courses was Ernie Martin. He was a matador, wether he was spanish or not, I don't know, however, I knew him as Uncle Ernie. He had a full matador outfit and used to entertain us with moves he would perform to entice the bull. As a 9/10 year old this was fascinating, even thought I did not like the idea of him killing animals. He was also a  self proclaimed blackbelt in judo/karati and used to show me moves in self defence. I thought this great at the time, Uncle Ernie was a lot of fun.

I went to his room quite a bit which was situated on the ground floor and we would perform moves in which to enable me to block him and try to get him on the floor.

I had recently been chosen for the school netball team and was a good goal shoot, even though I was tiny for my age. I had been given a pair of black shorts with a yellow stripe down the sides and I loved these shorts, I was so proud to wear them, not only did I wear them, I virtually lived in them that summer. On occasion when Uncle Ernie was giving me these lessons in judo on more than one occasion I was not happy about where his hands went and told him so. He made a reply that he was sorry it was an accident and I readily accepted this.

One evening whilst watch TV in the main lounge of the main house, (where I spent a lot of time)there were quite a number of the scientologists of the household present, the lights were out and I was sitting on Uncle Ernies knee. Uncle Ernie put his hand up my shorts and I shouted out "Stop it". Auntie Betty could tell by the tone of my voice something was up. The lights went on and I was asked what the problem was. So I told her. "This wasn't the first time this had happened and I did not like it". I was told to go home to the annexe.

The following morning Auntie Betty said she was taking me out for the day and did so.
I don't remember where we went, but there was a large market place and she she bought me some dresses, some things for my hair and took me for a chinese meal. I'd never been before so it was quite an experience. We sipped china tea from tiny cups and Auntie Betty told me all about how people ate and drank in China. We had a lovely day.

When we got home, I didn't go to the main house that night, but the following day I went to find Uncle Ernie, only to be told He was sorry he hadn't been able to say "Goodbye" but he had to go in a hurry. I was quite upset and did not understand.

I was about 15 years old when I realised what had happened and was still very upset by the incident.

As an adult now, I fully realise the implications of this incident and with that in mind can't help but wonder why a  so called church like scientology would go on to have within their ranks someone like this.

I have over the last year read much about him and although declared suppresive now, he became a "clear" and I can't help but wonder if this is the same Ernie Martin?

It's strange because I wrote something about this just a few days ago on ESMB, I had not read this then and was surprised when I found it.

“The story of the name Free Zone -– I spoke to Ernie Martin about it, and he said that in 1973 Ron had called him aside and told him that things were getting tough, and if they were ever to have any problem they should start a Free Zone of Scientology, and apparently then Bill Robertson was told the same thing. And they took that on a mission, and that’s why Captain Bill used the term „Free Zone“ when he was first... he was the first one to really use the term the way you are using it here.”

http://www.ronsorg.ch/english/freezoneenglish.htm

Quote taken from Dartsmohen's post on ESMB:
http://forum.exscn.net/showpost.php?p=179793&postcount=62

We had great parties at Grosvenor Road and Ridge Hill Lodge, home to Virginia, Mo and Ollie Budlong. my level 3 & 4 supervisor, Fred Fairchild usually got very drunk. One night, there was a pan of eggs boiling and Fred was so drunk, he would put his hand into the pan and pull out an egg without noticing he was burning. Ernie Martin was a legendary bullshitter and always fun. He looked like skeletor. Anyway, Ernie put on his bullfighting suit of lights and stood on the table. He was so drunk that he could hardly stand. Peter Gelfan had made some "sour" for whisky sour drinks andc Erine just downed the bottle of "sour" without even noticing the taste.

St. Hill in the 60s Part 4.

There was much talk about how people were trying to stop Ron, people who didn't realise how important it was to get scientology out into the world. I never knew who these people were, just that it was up to the scientologists to work hard at making sure that Ron's works would survive any onslaught no matter from what opposition.

When Ron came back from Rhodesia, we were to give him a big welcome, I spent the morning helping my Dad get the place cleaned up ready for his arrival. The scientologists were so excited at the return of their saviour, the most important man in the world. There was lots of hip hip hooraying and "good old Ron" shouted from the crowd at St. Hill.Despite any reservations I may have had regards this man, the scientologists loved him, as could be seen by the welcoming applause.

The winter of 1965 was cold and Little Baldwins was an old , draughty house. The rooms were fitted with old electric heaters, when the heating bill came in, my parents could not afford to pay it. Things went from bad to worse and we had to move. We went to a hotel for a few nights and then up North to stay with family. A few weeks later we returned to East. Grinstead and moved to an annexe off of the main house called Coopers Wood.This place was either owned or most likely rented by a couple of american scientologists Mary and Betty, they were sisters. The house was filled with scientology boarders, who went to St. Hill daily to study.One of the residents was an actress called Karen Black. She was struggling to get through her scripts for a film she was doing at the time and also her scientology studies.

I'm afraid I may get slightly side tracked here for a moment as a few days ago on http://xenu.net/ Smurf put up a video taken in LA.

LA Grand Opening, Kirstie Alley's Organic Liason. Part 3.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygDBa9RGhws&NR=1&feature=fvwp

This video is interesting for several reasons and the reason I have side tracked is Karen Black, who was doing scientology back in 1966 and appears to still be involved with scientology in 2011. I would find it difficult to believe she isn't  as this is a scientology event without doubt.Kirstie Alley is yet another of those 'Operating Thetans', just like Tom Cruise, Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson and also John Travolta. Not only did the scientologists manage to get the road blocked, they played loud music well into the night, upsetting many of the residents who were not invited and are promoting a diet programme which if scientology is anything to go by will not work very well.

See Tory's video here re putting on weight whilst becoming OT.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x89cbC49i9E&playnext=1&list=PL6FF58988C41D01E5

Getting back to Karen Black and East. Grinstead in the 60s, that christmas she bought me, who was a tomboy, a set of authentic handcuffs from Carnaby Street for christmas that year.On reflection, I wonder if she was trying to tell me something.Karen, If you're out there, LRH was not the man you think he was, and that organization you promote is hurting people.

St.Hill in the 60s Part 3.

Shortly after we moved to East. Grinstead we went out as a family to look about the town, we found ourselves in the church yard up on the main High street. Under three slabs were buried the ashes of three witches.All I knew about witches at this time was that they flew around on broomsticks, boiled cauldrons, put spells on people and were generally out to make mischief. My Father explained that really they were mythical people who practised a kind of medicine using herbs and unusual chants and rituals. He explained that really they were real people whom were misunderstood and could no more fly on a broomstick than you or I. He said that these people, more often women, were taken down to the village pond and held down under the water. If they drowned, they were proven innocent. If they lived, they were burnt at the stake. Under these stones, lay the ashes of real, once live people whom had been burnt to death because of their strange beliefs. This always held a strange fascination for me, and over the years in East. Grinstead I often went to this spot in the churchyard.

It was a difficult concept for my young mind to comprehend that human beings could set light to and burn other humans , just for their beliefs, because they were different to the norm.

When at school I became known as the scientology kid, this was difficult for me as I tried to explain I wasn't a scientologist, my parents were and so were most of the inhabitants of our household, of which there were many.As far as most of the other kids were concerned that made me a scientology kid.I would be taunted by my Dad says, or my Mum says they are all weirdos. In their eyes that instantly made me a weirdo too.

They could be forgiven for being right, when my Father decided that going to St. Hill and doing some of the scientology childrens courses seemed like a good idea. He thought it would help me overcome some of my shyness and enable me to get on better in the outside world.

The course room was full of young children learning these training routines.The ones that stick out in my mind so vividly even all these years later are the ones that I found to cause me to be very confused and did nothing to help my shyness at all.

Having to sit opposite a man, and focus all my attention on his eyes. Just staring, solidly for such a long time. My eyes hurt, I felt strange and I wanted to cry, I didn't want to be there, yet I knew I had to sit it out. All the other children were doing it, so I had to get on with it.

I was asked;

Do birds fly? I kept thinking what kind of a stupid question is that, and it came from an adult, didn't he know?

Do fish swim? All I kept thinking was what is wrong with these people that don't know the answer to these questions. I was only a little kid, and I knew.

Everyone else had a teddybear, I got an ashtray.
Command Intention.

Stand up!
Thankyou.

Sit down on that chair!
Thankyou.

This was done whilst sitting in a chair with another chair opposite me and the ashtray was on the chair. I had to tell the ashtray to Standup! Pick it up, hold it in the air and command it to sit back down. Then thanking it for obeying. Yet again, this was repeated many, many times, over and over and I couldn't for the life of me understand why I was doing it. It made no sense. But it would please my Father.

Passages from Alice in Wonderland were read, this was a bit more interesting as I loved to read, but the passage was chosen for me and I had to repeat it so many times. I went right off Alice in Wonderland for a very long time.

Walk over to that wall. Thank you. Touch that wall. Thankyou. Walk over to that wall. Thankyou. Touch that wall. Thankyou. Imagine doing that over and over and over again, for hours.

Maybe the justification for burning witches was warranted.

After it was all over, I told my Father I had enjoyed doing these routines. The smile on his face told me I had done good. Secretly, I thought please don't ever make me do anything like that again. I became even more shy, shy of going to St. Hill.

http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Secrets/TR/critique.html

Standard Tech.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cph5CIMn7xE

St.Hill in the 60s. Part 2.

In the passageway where a man is walking in the clip 'Weird shit we found in the archives' was where I could see the auditors in session through the windows.You could also see lots of scientologists with head phones on listening to LRHs lectures. On sunny days in summer there would be people out in the passage with desks, tables all busy working away.It was up through here where I ran errands.

Up in the Manor house where L. Ron Hubbard lived with his family, there was a large library that my Father had to keep stocked with books. Once about every three months a white van would come and deliver books to be put on the shelves. All the books that were previously there would have been boxed up and ready to be sent off once the new ones arrived. These books were of all different religions and philosophys, worldly books of knowledge and wisdom, and all though my Father wondered at the time why Hubbard needed all these books, it didn't register until some years later. I helped my Father put these new books onto the bookshelves, he was needed whilst we were doing this and had to go off. "Sharone, I'm going to have to lock you in, as this office has to be kept locked at all times, or you can come outside" my Father said smiling. I didn't mind and stayed locked in the office to fill the bookshelves.

Opposite the chapel there was a low wall, and I'm sure there was a little shop that sold drinks and snacks, after a graduation day one sunday in the chappel, there were a few of us sitting on the wall, one girl had gone 'clear'. I didn't know what that meant, but she was beaming this huge big smile and telling us how wonderful she felt and there and then I hoped one day I would go 'clear'. She just radiated pure joy.

Back home, some of the scientology boarders radiated this wow factor and although I could never put my finger on it, not all scientologists had this.

I came home from school one day to be told my Father was ill, he'd had to go into hospital for a couple of days. I was so lost without him. When he returned, it appeared he had had a bad skin reaction in the sun, whilst mowing the lawn. He assured me he was "alright, now" and my Mother joked that I had been lost without him around, clumsy, forgetful and unhappy. He was home now and everything was alright.

After my second baby brother was born, there was talk of reincarnation, not that I knew what that meant then. Not long before, the great politian Winston Churchill had died and my Father was so excited at the prospect of our baby being Chuchill's thetan. I didn't understand this conversation between my Mother and Father and it distressed me, though I can't say why. I just didn't want my baby brother to be someone else, I wanted him to be him. I was about 8 years old at the time and at school we had been taught that when you die, you are dead. This was a very confusing time, and one that I would find difficult to accept.My Dad tells me one thing and my teacher tells me another, yet they were both instrumental in shaping my mind.

In Scientology, they believe that when you die( in scientology lingo, drop your body) you will float around in the atmosphere and when someone gets pregnant the floating 'thetan'( the dead persons spirit) will latch itself onto the growing embryo to be reborn.
The Thetans didn't like this.......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZobrQF9p108

St. Hill in the 60s.

I was about 6 years old when I first encountered East. Grinstead. We moved there specifically to be near St. Hill. I hadn't got a clue what Scientology was then. I went to a normal church of England school, played with my friends on a quarry not far from where we lived. There were lots of fields near by and on Sundays the local farmer had a pen with pigs in, us children had never seen real live pigs before and it was funny to watch them grunting and snuffling about in the straw.

In May and June the fields were covered in wild flowers and the butterflies were amazing. I have never seen butterflies in such vast quantities ever since. We had nets and used to run after them trying to catch them. Once caught we gently had a look and then set them free again to flutter and feed on the necter of the wild flowers. That was the start of my lifelong love of both butterflies and wild flowers.

I went back there a few years ago and much to my amazement the house is still there, but the beautiful fields of wild flowers have now become a housing estate.

My Father was the regstrar at St. Hill Manor, by the time I was about 7 years old we moved from the little house into a large old house set in sprawling grounds with a large garden complete with terrace, sun dial, circular steps leading down to the enormous gardens, full of hydrangeas, trees and shrubs. We even had a long driveway, bordered on the left side of the house with a small wood which ran right down to the entrance. There was a plaque at the end of the drive which read Little Baldwins. From our tiny little house to this sprawling mansion, it seemed like we were royalty.

The reason for the move was so we could be a host for all the scientologists that were arriving from around the world to take up courses and learn the study tech as prescibed by L. Ron Hubbard. Father spent more and more time at St. Hill, whilst my step Mother had three children to look after and a lot of scientologists that needed to be fed and watered.There were 5 bedrooms upstairs and a bathroom. Most of the rooms were really large and depending on who stayed at what time, we had to move rooms quite often. Sometimes if we were overloaded with scientology students, there would be all 5 of us in one bedroom. Mum, Dad myself and two little brothers. There was one room that I loved and it belonged to my Auntie. It was probably what was once the servants quarters. It was a dear little room at the end of a long passageway, with the old fashioned string pulls to open the door.

Downstairs there was another large room, which was also used to house some of the boarders.At one point we were so overcrowded, my Uncle came to stay and slept outside in a workshop room, complete with tools.

People came and went, depending on how long their course was or on when thier time was up in England. This was my first introduction to the world of Scientology. Strange words were bandied about and everything was so wonderful for these students of the smiling face.For that is what I remember the most about that time, smiley, smiley faces and constant talk and excitement about this amazing new thing Dianetics, that was going to turn the world upside down, and be like nothing that had ever gone on before, Mr Hubbard, or the 'old man' as my Father affectionately called him was going to change the course of history.

My first encounter with the 'old man' was on a trip to St. Hill with my Dad. We were walking down to the manor, along the drive when Ron came along in a car. He stopped, got out of the car and came to chat, he was big man, smiled a lot and when he finished talking to my Dad, my Dad told me he was the most important man in the world, life was going to be incredible from now on.

Going to St. Hill I often found myself at a loose end, so used to act as messenger between the scientologists, delivering little notes or feching and carrying things.Through the glass doors you could see people sitting at tables hooked up to e-meters. It was a strange sight and one that I noticed  I never saw anywhere else.I didn't really know what to make of it and put it down to being weird. My Dad told me that it helped people, I couldn't see how,but the scientologists always seemed to have smiley faces.

There was a sort of chappel type building, called The Chappel as I recall ,as you entered from the porch to the right was a large room which had a small podium, from there LRH used to give lectures. The room was often packed with people that had come to listen to him. One of my Dads' jobs was get that ready for lectures.I remember putting pamphlets on the seats, I don't know what they said, but it was a form of introduction.

Weird Shit We Found in the Archives: Scientology.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjwD7UbZhso

 

Side Tracked.

First I want to say that this blog is in no way, shape or form connected to The Church of Scientology, The Freezone, Independant Movement or any kind of Scientology "Tech" at all.Now, you could be forgiven for wondering what is scientology 'tech'. Well according to those in the know(and that's not me, apparently), it's a set of tools and processes that are used to help you become a better person. Some of these processes are done using an e-meter.The e-meter has been proven to be a useless device that does not do what one is told it does.It is likened to a crude lie detector. It cannot detect lies, but it dosen't stop scientology from lying about it.

Yesterday, and not for the first time, I had something happen to me online that was a bit bizarre to say the least. I won't go into details just yet, but sufice to say I shortly there after recieved an e-mail telling me quote" You don't understand ,because you are not trained in 'the tech'". Well, thank god for that.For if I was, surely I would be as deluded as those that think it can be any form of help for any unsuspecting human being.Now, don't get wrong I have a lot of empathy for people, of which there are many, whom have had any form of training in scientology, whether it be the 'study tech' or all manor of other quack training routines, touch assists, courses,so called clear and not forgetting the ever prized OT levels which lead you to believe you can attain great powers whilst going up your bridge or should I say LRHs bridge to 'Total Freedom'.I will not be the first to say that the only total freedom you are ever likely to get is by giving up all of this bunk, and the only bridge you are ever likely to go over is a broken one.That's if it doesn't break YOU in the process. And believe me it has broken many, many people.

Which is why I am here in the first place,some of my own family members got caught up in the Scientology movement back in the 60s, and myself as a child lost my entire family because of Scientologys' practise of seperating children from parents and vice versa. The Messiah , L.Ron Hubbard or my Commadore as he was known when I was aboard the Flaghip "The Royal Scotsman" was apparently an 'Operating Thetan' which apparently gave him GOD like powers, in fact according to the voice of Bart Simpson Nancy Cartwright of the hit show The Simpsons, she strives to be that GOD, she by the way is also an 'Operating Thetan'. With these GOD like powers apparently it gives you the right to part families."You are either on board or your not on board, and if your on board, you had better go all the way" according to Tom Cruise, yet another of these 'Operating Thetans'. My GOD, they are everywhere, yes you had better believe it. We have on this planet called earth celebrity Operating Thetans, only they don't call it earth, they call it Teegeeack.

When Tom Cruise tells you to get on board, he wants you to get YOUR ethics in, and start 'clearing the planet'. What does this mean, I hear you cry? It means dear reader, that he expects YOU to help make 'every man, woman and child on this planet into a Scientologist', You could be forgiven for thinking that is one hell of a task, not if you're a scientologist, "because if you're a scientologist, you know",what do you know, well, you know that if you don't make it this life time, not to worry because 'YOU will come back'. That is the sea org motto and if you join the sea org you are expected to sign a sea org contract of 'ONE BILLION YEARS'. If you should die, and there is every likely hood, not to worry, you have 21 years to pick up a new body, but then you must come back. LRH said so, so where is LRH? Thats the question we would would all love to hear an answer to. I heard through the grapevine, that he is still up on Target 2 doing some more research for this marvelous technology of which I am not trained in.
Funny that, because I remember when.........

http://www.xenutv.com/blog?p=510

Tom Cruise uncut

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFBZ_uAbxS0&feature=related